warning, extreme caution: it's raining men.

when you're a key socialite on capitol hill, you have eyes and ears all over the city. a proletariat we know, alex, alerted us that former bachelor juan pablo was at the nats game tonight. convenient timing, juan pablo, because these interns just started getting to know you last night after the bachelorette when we decided to youtube old videos of andi on the bachelor to help fuel our burning fire of hate for her. fyi, we hate you too, juan pablo. and we also hate clare.

breathtaking image kathryn captured
of nats stadium tonite

this photo was taken on the way home from kathryn's guitar lessons, which were taught by kathryn's new love interest.

facts about the teacher:

name: kevin.

age: 28.

musical background: started playing sax (sex? what?) (~jazzy~) at the age of 10, plays bass in a band.

attributes: sensitive and funny.

marital status: no wedding ring (single? gay? engaged? in love with kathryn?)

religion: foreign symbol on ugly black guitar (hindu?). (BREAKING: found his website, he mentions catholicism).

languages spoken: english, spanish (he is probably latino).

shoes: kathryn liked them, but his laces were untied.

siblings: phil, 4 years older.

social media presence: talked about tweeting things. (BREAKING: we just found his twitter)

shirt color: green.

hair color: brown.

shirt color + hair color mixed together hypothetically: diarrhea brown/green

flirtiest things he said to kathryn: "kathryn, right?" "how's your E sounding?"

here's kevin performing live with his filthy whore lisa.

sounds like they're pretty in tune with each other. let's hope kathryn's not naughty at guitar lessons next week, or the sexi teacher may have to punish her after class ;)

other men

• ron, an old man who kathryn sat next to at the library. he told her she was a fast typer. ;)
• bowlmor employee, an ugly young man who talked to katie a lot while she was bowling with clients from her internship. she spent $100 on table service (#fergalicious).

katie after talking to the bowlmor employee.
*foxy* *foxayyy*

• young male client at madeline's internship. madeline climbed into her client's new "big boy bed" today at work--just for a fleeting moment to retrieve a... "toy"... he may or may not have accidentally dropped--she'll do anything to get ahead on the job.

ugh. we can't even escape boiz when we're not clubbing (just like fergie).

we're feelin' tastyy tastyyyyyy...

this video sparked debate among the interns because of its potentially contradictory (?) (or not contradictory?!?) cake-dancer imagery and women's empowerment lyrics ("I can't be treated like clientele."). we'd like to start a discussion in the comments section below (anyone can comment! no blogger account needed!) on what you think. feel free to mention how our blog empowers you or the women in your life!

everyone double tap our club drugs flipagram on insta.

a fun group of pills.

"this is a great, fun group of pills. we're gonna have a lot of fun." -andi dorfman

our readers selected "club drugs" by a landslide.
twice as many people voted for clubs drugs as hookups.
numbers don't lie.

based on our poll about what our viewers would like to see more of, it has become pretty OBVIOUS that you don't appreciate when we go clubbing, you're just using us for our posts about recreational drug use, hookups, and oatmeal creme pies. you know what? fine. here's what you wanted.

tonight we stayed in, despite our plans to hit the town, and watched tonight's episode of the bachelorette while eating pizza and recreationally using prescription drugs. there. are you happy? 

♫ *untz* *untz* *untz* *untz* ♫

after loading up, we began research on andi dorfman's record of cases she has presided over as assistant for the fulton country district attorney. we came across an... interesting... case (found here) where she prosecuted an innocent man and had him sentenced to life without parole because he was black. s/o to marquel for addressing race on the bachelorette (found here). so yeah, we still hate you, andi.

"i hope andi and nick v end up together and go paragliding with broken parachutes." 

-ancient chinese proverb.

(btw, we just learned that andi went to wake for law school. interesting...)

also, if you even care, 

we found kathryn like this. madeline thought it was just like any other afternoon. she thought kathryn was off somewhere in the range rover. but when she walked into the bedroom, she found kathryn lying motionless on the cot. kathryn hadn't slept in the normal bed because someone peed in the bed, and we haven't put the clean sheets back on yet. madeline didn't think it would be a big deal. she didn't know it would change everything. but kathryn didn't make it.

are you okay, kathryn? keep reading to find out.

to her career fair. she napped instead. and then we got whole foods. THERE!! are you happy?!?! just like you voted for in the poll!!! how does it feel?!? is it everything you hoped it would be? and while madeline was photographing kathryn's nap, she fell almost one and a half feet from the bed she was standing on. 

ouch! please pray for madeline.

fyi: katie got dinner tonite with a friend who works for International Justice Mission. we in no way want to trivialize human trafficking in our "red lite district of columbia" post. 

just human sex trafficking. 

just kidding. 

it's serious.