red lite district of columbia.

bom dia!

today is monday.

on the capitol hills, mondays mean a little work... and a lot of play ;) but a night out on the town is no longer just fun and games when sex traffickers, coke whores, and gingerale get involved. read below for the lowdown on a typical monday in DC.

so far today, katie has been at her internship (her youngest client enlightened her on the facts that she's not pretty enough to be on the bachelorette and all brunettes are ugly, then licked the dog for two minutes), kathryn slept through five alarms and showed up to her internship two hours late ("type louder, type louder, pretend they can't see you."), and madeline has lurked in the basement eating doughnuts and blogging (her boss and primary client at the firm took a long weekend trip to boston, #glamorous, so she has the day off).

as amazing as our internships are, these socialites just can't wait for the sun to go down on a monday night. why? the bachelorette, you say? we do luuvvvv the bachelorette (but we hate you, andi), but WRONG WRONG WRONG! we watch it later on hulu plus because we actually have lives. we make important appearances at local clubs and parties on monday nights.

i don't know what we'll get into tonight, but here's a little glimpse into what we did two mondays ago...if y'all CARE... ugh...

we were...

• almost sex trafficked by a band of irishmen. (literally!) (literally about them being a cover band of irishmen. not literally about being almost sex trafficked). check out this video of them serenading us at the bar.

• almost sex trafficked by african friends mo and redda. (one stopped us on the street to find out where he could buy food late at night, then followed us to our favorite monday nite party spot anyways, where his friend "happened" to be loitering by our private table... boys will be boys)
• asked by a young man to babysit his beer while he stepped out for a minute...you could almost call this important job an internship.

  

  beer internship guy.

• almost sex trafficked by two elderly businessmen, one of whom was nice and the other who asked us where to buy coke [the drug, not the beverage. even if he did want to know about the drink, we drink fresca, not coke, BUDDY! (see our poll on the right sidebar of this page!)] but we don't blame him because he was from south florida, and kathryn brought it up first.

the nice businessman. not into coke.

• played solitaire on the tablets (duh). 
• madeline almost burned her arm on a candle during the interns' tablet mirror pics. (ouch!)

  

  madeline and a candle (bottom center).



kathryn (right) and her tablet (left).   

two

• the beer internship guy made a reappearance when he got into a fist fight with the coke whore over the invaluable chance to buy kathryn a gingerale (somebody called somebody a motherf***er... the coke whore was kicked out... kathryn never got her FRICKIN gingerale).

  

  beer internship guy talking to bar owner after fight.

• if that spontaneous violent outburst wasn't enough of an emotional roller coaster for the night, madeline dropped her tablet under the table and had to crawl under there to get it. luckily it was found unharmed. 
• everyone kept staring at us and getting involved when we were just trying to enjoy our bottle service at our private table... #socialiteprobz.
• two nice men asked us what we "do" in DC, so we laboured to explain to them our busy careers as talent scouts in the melbourne (AUS) and DC areas. ("we go out to clubs on monday nights and keep our eyes peeled for potential models/actors/musicians to sign.") we struggled not to fall into our australian accents because we spend so much time in melbourne. speaking in our affected american accents made us giggle, leading the men to suspect that we were weaving a web of lies about our high status roles in the entertainment industry.

• we finally yanked ourselves away from our adoring fans at the club in order to drive home (private car), but on the way we stopped to be humanitarians. katie fell in love with a law student called "D" as they struggled together to get a bleeding, sleeping young man home safely. (D got her number, they exchanged a few texts afterwards, but he didn't want to come volunteer at Write Night with us because he's very busy studying for the BAR. whatever.) (pretty believable excuse, though, because D wasn't even out partying on a monday night! he was on a late night run. he clearly sacrifices his social life a lot).

"D" handing water to the bleeding man.

so... yeah.

from a cocaine blood bath to finding true love on the side of the road, this night went from scary to scared-how-powerful-love-can-feel.

here's hoping this monday night holds as much... well... awesomeness as the last one.

"This is a really fun group, and I'm just... excited... I think we're gonna have a lot of fun. Let's just.... have some FUN... here's to a fun night." -andi dorfman.

we are interns.

we are strategic thinkers and determined young professionals with a skill set in watching The Bachelorette (we hate you, Andi), gorging on mint chocolate chip ice cream and Krispy Kreme doughnuts, and hiding from our host families in the basement.

scroll down to get to know us a little better.

madeline spends her days on The Hill interning with a 2 1/2 year old boy who naps for the majority of the afternoon while she lies on the couch downstairs swiping left on Tinder. when he's awake they play trains, play cars, or watch Cars 2 on the DVR.

"I really have learned SO much about the different parts of a train." -madeline.

katie interns with four delightful kids who refer to her as their slave only on occasion. she actually lives in the basement of her prestigious firm, where the kids rifle through her things when she leaves home. this internship has allowed her to hone valuable skills in preparing bagel bites, walking the dog, and fetching young boys from their naked mother's bed each morning.

"They really are sooo awful." -katie.

kathryn actually has a real internship (boring) where she makes less per hour than madeline and katie do at their distinguished internships. in between converting word documents to PDFs and those PDFs back into word docs, she google searches new jobs (,,,WHAT?!?!......she's gotta be prepared!!!). she sits in a windowless room where people forget about her ("type louder, type louder, pretend that they don't see you.").

"It's like, not a bad internship at all." -kathryn.

maxie interns in wildlife preservation. she carefully observes and "interacts with" songbirds and small mammals in Bethesda. every once in a while we catch her hauling a live chipmunk around in her mouth. but she's really a soft snuggle wuggle bayybbeeee.

"Meow." -maxie.










this summer we will cultivate strong time management skills as we balance our demanding and highly sought-after internships with our hectic clubbing, partying, and dating schedules as DC socialites. follow our journey right here, and keep updated through instagram (@thecapitolhills) or even facebook.